11 In Spirituality

Differences Between Your Soul And Your Ego

One of my biggest transformational moments in life was realising the difference between my soul and my ego.

It took me a long time and a lot of soul-digging to get it. Here is my understanding:

soul versus ego


Your ego is:

  • the image you have of yourself
  • your social mask, the face you put on for the world
  • your titles and roles (girlfriend, daughter, brother, sister, friend, colleague, teammate)

You can learn to spot your ego. When your ego is in charge:

  • you’re often caught in circling thoughts (thinking about the same things over and over)
  • you’re often consumed by your emotions (especially hurt, disappointment and anger)
  • your inner dialogue is heavily focused on anxieties, fears, doubts and self-criticism (I’m not good enough, I’m not beautiful, I can’t do this, I totally stuffed up, I am bad at this, my life is meaningless)
  • your worth is dependent on external things (whether you’ve got a partner, a mortgage, a great job, a beautiful wardrobe, a huge circle of friends)
  • you desperately need validation from other people
  • you’re easily bruised when things don’t go your way, people don’t act in the way you expect them to, people let you down, or people say or do things to offend you

Your ego is something you have to live with, but you don’t have to listen to it or believe what it has to say.

Try not to take it too seriously. It’s not the real you.

Your soul is:

  • your spirit/essence/true self
  • who you really are deep down below all the labels, roles, expectations and social masks
  • something that doesn’t change – you are born you and you will forever be you
  • inherently worthwhile – you are divine energy from the Universe. Your very existence in this world is what makes you beautiful, valuable and amazing.

You can learn to spot your soul. When your soul is in charge:

  • you get a gut feeling about things, an intuition, an inner voice which guides you
  • you realise you love and accept yourself deeply and completely
  • your have burning desires and goals, but your sense of self-worth and happiness is not dependent on them
  • you are forgiving of others and you are more easily able to accept people as they are, faults and all
  • your preferences, desires and ideas bubble up from within you (not from external influences like society and the expectations of others)
  • you get a feeling of being in the flow, of losing yourself in something you love – like yoga, running, walking, painting, writing, sex or cooking
  • you often feel an indescribable connection with the entire Universe – especially when you experience a sunrise, a starry night sky, an old tree, or a quote that resonates with you
  • everything feels effortless – it’s like the Universe is gently pushing you forward
  • all the right people, places and circumstances unfold in perfect timing around you
  • you feel free, fearless and empowered to go after your dreams and build a beautiful life
  • you understand your purpose in life is to follow your dharma, your heart’s song, your own path, and to give your unique gifts to the world

Your soul is eternal and always present, even if you don’t always feel it or pay attention to it.

You can build a better relationship with your soul through stillness, meditation, spending time in nature, soul or journal writing, being open-hearted and authentic, and doing more things that you love.

Learn to listen to your soul when it speaks to you, trust in it and act on the advice it gives to you.

Your soul is a source of unconditional love, courage and strength, wisdom, and happiness and joy.

It can’t be harmed by other people’s opinions or external circumstances. It can’t be harmed by anything.

To be fair, it is incredibly challenging to dismiss the allure of the ego and be led by your soul.

But even if you manage to tap into this deeper part of you a few minutes a day, your life will improve in many magical and beautiful ways.

This is because even a teaspoon worth of love, wisdom or courage coming from your soul is a thousand times more powerful than a negative message coming from the ego.

Try and remember this, beautiful soul.

Would you like to build a stronger connection with your soul? You should download my FREE Beginner’s Guide To Soul Writing! It’s an amazing way to get in touch with your inner being. Click here to have it delivered straight to your Inbox.

Elyse xx

p.s. Are you ready to breakfree from the negative self-talk holding you back? Are you tired of not believing in yourself and your dreams? Would you love to turn your self-love and worthiness up ten thousand percent? I have something for you. My Self Love online course is a practical step-by-step guide to self love and confidence. You can check it out here.



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  • Reply
    Leslie McCarroll
    October 15, 2017 at 2:42 pm

    I love this! thank you!

    • Reply
      Elyse Santilli
      October 25, 2017 at 12:27 pm

      Pleasure Leslie so glad it resonated with you! xx

  • Reply
    July 4, 2017 at 3:28 am

    Hi Elyse,
    I stumbled across your site and absolutely love it! So many handy resources and such great advice we don’t really stop to think about. My soul is sending you positive vibes!


    • Reply
      Elyse Santilli
      October 25, 2017 at 12:31 pm

      Thanks so much for the love Emily! xx

  • Reply
    September 18, 2016 at 6:44 am

    I love the idea of reconnecting with soul throughout the day. Ego is ever popping up to side track the day. Can one eventually come to a place where connection to the soul takes up more of the day then battling ego?

  • Reply
    February 1, 2016 at 10:53 am

    Grateful, touched, enlightened.
    Thank you, Elyse

  • Reply
    Nadine Lee
    June 5, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    Thank you so much I so needed this boost of inspiration today – perfect soul timing I say hehe ! Love love Nadine lee

  • Reply
    May 17, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    Thank you for the post, Elyse. I am a 51 year old male moving through a mid life change and feel lost at times but your post has helped me understand some of the issues I am dealing with.

  • Reply
    November 8, 2014 at 2:52 pm

    An absolutely beautiful post Elyse. Thank you. Ego can be a bit of a nasty monster and he pops up a lot more often than most of us would like but when the soul finally steps up to shine, boy is it worth the time, love and energy to keep that beauty around. I particularly loved where you said “Your soul is a source of unconditional love, courage and strength, wisdom, and happiness and joy” – so wise and so true.

    • Reply
      Elyse Gorman
      November 20, 2014 at 9:31 am

      Thanks so much Sarah, so glad you enjoyed it! Sometimes I think one of our main purposes in life is simply to connect with our soul, above our ego, and just keep coming back to that beautiful peaceful place x

  • Reply
    Tahlia Meredith
    November 6, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    Gorgeous post x

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